Hidden Feelings
by ohsotanyaax
Summary: Its the week leading up too Rachels wedding day. Surrounded by people who loved her, yet she couldn't tell anyone exactly how she was feeling. When she eventually plucked up the courage her life was to change for the worse or for the better?
1. Chapter 1

It was the week every girl couldn't wait for in their life. A week every girl had been dreaming about since she could remember. A week where everything was about her. The week leading up to the day where her name would change from "Miss" too "Mrs". Every girl that was except Rachel Bailey. On the 23rd of August 2012, 3 o'clock in the afternoon, her life was due to change forever.

Rachel agreed too marry Sean McCartney earlier in the year, after thinking about it for weeks. She thought too herself that she was in her mid-thirties it was time she settled down. Even though she knew this wasn't what she wanted, she still agreed. She had her bridesmaids picked. Janet would be by her side every step of the way, Gill was always just a phonecall away if she wasn't already helping out and her sister Alison, was always there. Even though Rachel had all these people around her she could confide in, she couldnt confide in them with this dilemma she had managed too get herself into.

Everytime she walked into the office, she got butterflies. She was trying her hardest too cover up her feelings. She was constantly thinking too herself "Pull it together Rachel! Your getting married in 6 days! Get over yourself!".

The only problem Rachel had was Janet and Gill were beginning to suspect someything was wrong. They could see Rachel wasn't her normal self. They were constantly whispering too each other behind her back. Rachel had a gut instinct they were talking about her. Although she didn't even bother too ask because she knew it would lead too more questions. Questions she couldn't be bothered to answer. Questions she couldn't answer.

Rachel had no idea why she was feeling like this. All she knew was she was feeling like this. She was in love, but not with the man she was marrying.

A long hard day at the office, interviewing criminals that made Rachel's stomach churn had finally come to an end. Rachel sighed with relief as soon as Gill declaired the breifing was over and they could go home. "Wanna get shitfaced? I do!" Rachel said too Janet. Janet smiled and nodded following Rachel out of the office too collect there belongings.

During their time at the pub, Janet asked the question she had been dying too ask and the question Rachel was dreading. "What is wrong with you?" Janet said followed by "Your getting married in 6 days you should be happy, not walking about with that long face on you!" Rachel was fighting back the tears. She needed too tell someone how she really felt but she couldn't. Rachel was able too hold the tears together until Janet asked her what was wrong. Whilst a failed attempt at holding back the tears, Rachel accidently let one slip from the corner of her eye. Janet put her hand on Rachels and said in her best interview voice "now tell me what is wrong."

Rachel decided too lie to Janet and not let the truth slip. "That body we seen the other day has just really got to me, that is all!" Janet wasn't convinced one little bit by what Rachel was saying. They had both delt with bodies in a much worse condition than they had seen the other day and they had never effected Rachel in this way. Janet knew she was lying but didn't push any further. Rachel told Janet everything and Janet knew this would be no different. She decided too let Rachel tell her in her own time. Janet just hopped it wouldn't be too late before she did.

Rachel went home that night, back too Sean. She wasn't as drunk as she would have liked too have been. She climbed into bed thinking Sean was sound asleep. Suddenly, he turned over and threw his arms around her, touching her all over. It was making her feel sick too the pit of her stomach. She pushed him away and told him she'd had a busy day and all she wanted to do was sleep. He kissed her forehead and said "good night beautiful" still holding her tight. The longer he held her the more sick she was beginning too feel. She lay in bed awake all night, thinking. Thinking off that one person she knew she shouldn't be thinking off.

The next day was a repeat of the day before, expect she was more scared this time as it was only 5 days up until the wedding. She only had 5 days too change her mind. The more she thought about calling the wedding off the more guilt she felt going round her body. She started too tell herself how selfish she was. On the other hand she was beginning feel more sick about standing infront of her friends, family and friends that were like family and lie. She couldn't do that. Then she began too think how miserable her life would be. Living a lie. Then a repeat started again. Thinking off how selfish she would be.

Gill wasn't daft. Far from it. She could see Rachel was lost in her thoughts all day. This wasn't like Rachel, she was always on top form, always concentrating but today it looked like she couldn't concentrate for longer than five minutes. She could also see how miserable Rachel was becoming and she wasn't even married yet! Gill walked over too Rachel who was sitting opposite Janet and said "dinner tonight ladies? My treat?" Janet looked at Rachel who was still a million miles away in her own thoughts. Janet looked at Gill and agreed on behalf of Rachel and herself. Not giving Rachel a choice. She was going whether she liked it or not.

Rachel headed home to get changed while Janet and Gill did the same. Rachel walked into her house to be greeted with a smile, a massive hug and a kiss from Sean. "5 days too go Mrs McCartney!" he said kissing her and holding her into him. She pushed him off and she told him she was heading out to dinner with Gill and Janet, without any further questions, he smiled and said "go get ready, I'll see you when you get home tonight!" without any further conversation, Rachel walked away.

"Mrs McCartney, Mrs Rachel McCartney, DC McCartney!" was all that kept flying round Rachel's mind. The more she repeated it, the more she was beginning to feel sick once again. Yes, she wanted too be 'Mrs' but not 'Mrs McCartney.'

Janet picked Rachel up at about 7pm, they were meeting Gill at an indian restaurant just around the corner from the police station. There was an awkward silence for the majority of the car journey until Janet broke the silence. "So.. You excited for the big day then? Less than five days too go.. Mrs McCartney!" Janet said looking at Rachel laughing. Janet noticed no expression change on Rachel's face. There it was once again 'Mrs McCartney!" Rachel couldn't bare the sound of it.

Rachel put on a fake giggle and said "oh, can't wait!" once again not managing too fool Janet in the slightest. Yes, she only had Janet too attempt too fool then but as soon as she sat down at the table she was then stuck with Gill's prying questions as well. There was no way she could fool Gill she thought too herself.

All three of them, Gill, Janet and Sean all had Rachel's best intrests at heart, they all cared for her and loved her. They wouldn't be the slightest bit happy if they knew how miserable she was actually feeling.

Janet and Rachel walked into the resturant where they were greeted by an awaiting Gill. "Wine anyone?" Gill offered, holding out the bottle having already got three wine glasses, already knowing the answer she began pouring.

"Don't just give me a bloody glass. Give me the whole bottle. I need it!" Rachel blurted out, attempting too laugh.

"Right Rachel, What is wrong with you? Were worried about you!" Gill said looking at Rachel then to Janet then straight back too Rachel.

"It doesn't matter. I'm getting married in 5 days. So leave it!" Rachel said getting more angry with every question. "Lets just enjoy the night and forget my problems!" There was no way she could let it all out now. Her feelings would have too be hidden. For now.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I know some of you's are thinking Gill/Janet but i will say it's neither. It doesn't say in this chapter. I've left you's too think. I should have the next chapter up tomorrow saying who it is. Thanks for reading and reveiwing! x**

The wedding was creeping closer. Each day seemed too get quicker and quicker. The hours seemed too be getting smalled and smaller. Until there was it was the day before. Supposed too be one of the best days of a girls life. Rachel still didn't see it that way. She didn't want to be going through with this but she was going to. For once she was putting herself last.

Rachel decided she was going to tell Gill how she was feeling today. She couldn't keep it a secret any longer. Gill text her the night before saying "I'm here too listen anytime, kid x" and with that text message Rachel decided she could trust Gill. Rachel wasn't one too bring personal life into work but as the guy she was falling for was actually in the same syndicate, she thought this was appropraite. She was going to have too face him everyday, see the man she loved but couldn't be with because she left it too late.

Rachel knocked on Gill's door and opened it, "got a minute boss?" Rachel said to Gill who failed too look up from her computer screen, she nodded in agreement and with that Rachel walked in and closed the door behind her, taking a seat infront of her boss' desk. "You know how you said you'd be there for me anytime? I need too talk to someone in confidence"

Gill's head shot up from her computer screen, she took her glasses off and folded them. "What's up kid? I've been worried about you for days now!" Gill said too Rachel.

Rachel's eyes were starting too water, she was fighting back the tears. "I don't love Sean, I don't want to be 'Mrs McCartney'. I don't want to do this tomorrow, but I'm going to because I'm in my thirties, I need too settle down don't I?" not giving Gill a chance too reply Rachel continued "I love someone else. I want to be with someone else. I'm so selfish-"

Gill cut Rachel off in mid sentance and said "you are NOT selfish" emphasing the 'not'. "Your just confused. Do I know this person? If you don't want to be with him then do not go through with it tomorrow, Rachel. Does anyone else know about this?"

"Your the only person who knows. You know this person very well. He works here, which is why I needed too tell you. I need to go through with tomorrow but I need to tell this person first. What will I do Gill?" Rachel let a tear slip, her stomach was doing summersaults.

"Go out leave a note on his desk, I'll write it for you. Go to dinner with him and tell him then. Nothing sexual, nothing wrong, just two friends having dinner. Tell him exactly how your feeling and see what he says. How he feels. Then come too mines after it and let me know whats happening." with that Gill began writing the note. Rachel nodded. She didn't know her own mind at the moment and she always looked up to Gill.

"Thanks ma'am! This goes no further though, please? Promise me?" Rachel pleaded.

"I promise you. Now go leave this note and go get ready. Tell Sean your coming too mines. I'll back you up." Gill said and with that, Rachel snuck out and left the note on his desk. Showing Gill exactly who it was. Gill looked shocked but she knew it was bound too happen sometime.

The note read "meet me at the Indian resturant around the corner from here, 8pm. Dinner and a chat. I'll be waiting. R x" She left it out of sight so no one could read it or find it, but she left it where she knew he would find it.

Rachel headed home too get ready. Sean was waiting once again, but this time he was going out too. "I'm going out with Gill tonight! I'll see you when you get home?" there she was found herself lying too her husband-to-be already. She headed up stairs to get ready. She put on her best dress and her best lipstick she had. She looked a million dollars.

"wow, you look, amazing! I'm so lucky that i'll be too say your my wife this time tomorrow!" Sean said, hugging her.

"I've gotta go, I'll see you later!" and with that Rachel left. The minute she closed the door, she began too shake. She didn't know if she could go through with this. She was so confused she didn't know right from wrong at the moment but if Gill said to do it, she would. She headed over too the restaurant. She looked at her watch '7:36' it read, she was early.

She ordered a bottle off wine over to the table and poured herself a glass. Checking her watch every minute and checking the door. Thoughts starting racing round her mind, "what if he doesn't turn up? I'll be humilated. What if they're still at the office having a laugh at my expense" she kept thinking. She checked her phone. All it said was "1 recieved message: Sean" she never even opened it but she did realise the time. He should be here by now she thought. The next minute she saw his car pulling into the car park through the windows in the doors. "Here it goes" she thought.

As he walked into the restaurant, she saw him sigh a relief and she did the same. He had a bunch of flowers for her. This wasn't helping the situation one little bit. "Sit down" said said, smiling. The first time she had smiled in about a week. She had butterflies in her stomach. Her heart was racing. All because he was sat across from her. She felt like a teenager all over again.

"Hiya! You alright? Whats this for? You never ask me too dinner!" he chuckled.

"Your the one whose supposed too ask" she giggled, a nervous laugh more like. "All jokes aside, I needed too speak too you. I need too tell you something and when I do you, if you decide too run a mile that's fine. Just don't cast it up and humilate me?" Rachel said looking him in the eyes.

"How many of them have you had?" he said laughing. "I would never ever humilate you" he said looking straight into her eyes.

"You know how I'm getting married tomorrow? I don't want to go through with it!" Rachel said beginning too shake. She was about too reveal her secret.

He put his hand on top of her's noticing her starting too shake. "Calm down, it's me your talking to now! Why do you not want to go through with it? Only do this if it's what you want Rach. Don't do it because you feel you need too" he said.

She had never seen him being so sensitive and loving. Not even over an important case. "Because I love someone else. I want to be with them. Not Sean." Rachel said looking him in the eyes.

"Who Rachel?" he said, still holding her hands.

She laughed. He still hadn't noticed. She took a massive deep breath and said "You, I love you! Now if you want to run. Go. I'll get married tomorrow and we'll speak no more about it." He looked at her still holding her hand.

"I'm going nowhere. You love Sean, the amount of times you've told me how much you love him, Rachel. Even though it killed me hearing you saying it to me, I only want you to be happy." Rachel looked confused trying to work out what that was suppose too mean.

"I had too tell you. I'm going to go through with tomorrow. I just needed you too know how I felt. I'm going too Gill's. I'll see you tomorrow at the wedding, yeah?" she got up and walked away. She left him speechless. He was confused.

"She just said she loves me? now she's away and going through with tomorrow? I need too stop this!" he thought too himself.

Rachel turned up at Gill's and Gill was already sitting with a bottle open waiting on her arrival. "What happened then kid? What did he say?" Gill asked.

"Let's not talk about it tonight. I'm getting married in the morning, let's make the most of my last night single." Gill didn't ask anymore questions about what had happened that night. She just poured two glasses and they both sat until all hours talking.


	3. Chapter 3

Here it was. The countdown had stopped. The moment everyone had been waiting for all week. Gill walked into the room Rachel had slept in last night too find her sitting on the edge of her bed crying.

"I can't do this! I can't!" Rachel said too Gill wiping tears away from her eyes.

"Yes, you can kid but you don't have too, only if this is what you want!" Gill said putting a hand on Rachel's shoulder trying too comfort her.

"I don't have a choice, I should have cancelled weeks ago if I didn't want this. These feelings, they'll disappear. I'll get over it. Sean is who I'm supposed too be with!" Rachel said trying too convince herself and Gill this is what she'll want in long run maybe not just now but one day she would want it.

"You do have a choice. This isn't just for one day. This is for the rest of your life. Trust me divorces ain't fun!" Gill said becoming very serious and trying too make her realise this wasn't just for one day. It was for the next fifty maybe sixty years of Rachels life.

"I don't Gill, I'm going too get married in less than an hour. I'm away too start getting ready. Thank you for being there for me. You really are a true friend" and with that Rachel did as she said she got up and left the room and headed off to get ready.

The minute Rachel walked out, Gill was straight on the phone too Janet. Gill knew how close they were and how Janet always managed too talk sense into her. Hopefully she could do it this time before she made the biggest mistake off her life. "Janet get here now, I need your help, as soon as possible!" Janet was round too Gills within 10 minutes off that phonecall.

"Rachel doesn't want to marry Sean, she want's too be with someone eles but she feels like she has too marry him. She feels like she has no choice. I found her crying upstairs this morning. She was all like 'I can't do this!' I tried too talk sense into her by saying she didn't have to go through with it but she wasn't having any of it. When I told her divorces weren't fun, she got up and left and that's when I phoned you!"

"Is this what's wrong with her? Why hasn't she told me? Where is she? I need too see her" Janet asked Gill looking slightly confused.

"Upstairs" Gill answered.

"May I?" Janet asked, looking up too the top of Gill's staircase.

"Be my guest!" and with that answer, Janet ran upstairs as fast as her legs could run.

"hi pal!" Janet said so softly as she walked into Gills spare room too find Rachel sitting in her wedding dress. "you look gorgeous!"

"I don't feel it. I'm guessing Godzilla has told you?"

"Rachel why didn't you tell me? You do NOT have too do this. If you don't want to don't." Janet said emphasing the 'not' exactly like Gill had done the day before.

"I couldn't bring myself too tell anyone. I didn't even want too tell myself. Then Gill text me saying she was there for me anytime and I just needed too tell her. You've got enough worries without my problems on top!"

"Rachel, your problems ARE my problems!" Janet said too rachel, pulling her in for a cuddle. Janet held her tight and Rachel began too cry.

"Is this what you want?"

Rachel nodded. "Yes, in a few months I'll be glad I done it, won't I? I'll have the happily ever, I've always wanted!" Janet wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Come on then gorgeous, lets go get you married!" Rachel held on to Janet's hand and followed her downstairs. Janet saw Gill and just nodded and smiled.

They headed over too the church where Sean was already waiting. Guest's had piled in. The whole of MIT was sat down the front along with Alison. Tasisie and Elise were Rachel's bridesmaids. They walked up the isle and saw Sean standing with a huge smile on his face. Rachel forced a smile the whole way down the isle, whether it was convincing or not, Rachel would never know.

"You look absolutely stunning. I love you!" Sean said too Rachel when she finally reached the top of the isle.

"Your not bad yourself Mr McCartney!" Rachel laughed. She then turned around too Janet and smiled. Not looking at anyone else on the row because she knew who was sitting there. She didn't really want too see him today.

"Here I go, I'm about to be Mrs McCartney, Mrs Rachel McCartney!" Rachel said too herself, feeling her stomach churning. "Rachel, don't be stupid just hurry up and get it over and done with" she kept saying too herself.

A voice whispered too Gill "I'm not letting her do this. I can't let her go through with this Gill. After what she told me last night, and I know you know 'cause that was your writing. Now, I'm stopping this."

Gill grabbed on to his and hand "If this is what she wants leave her!" but deep down inside she was desperate for this wedding too be cancelled because she knew how much Rachel didn't want this.

"This isn't what she wants. She told me last night this isn't what she wants!" he said.

"Well if your going to do it, do it quick. The 'I do' bit is about to come then it's offical. So hurry!" Gill said letting go of his arm. He stood up.

"Rachel, please don't do this. Please.." he began pleading with her.

The whole room off guest's gasped and Sean looked at Rachel, shocked. Rachel looked at Gill, then too Janet then back too Sean.

"KEVIN SIT DOWN!" Janet said in her best and scariest interview voice.


	4. Chapter 4

Janet didn't actually realise Kevin was the person Rachel was in love with as Gill and Rachel failed too tell her. Rachel looked back too Gill asking with her eyes what to do. Gill looked too Kevin then too the door. Rachel looked too Sean and said "I can't do this!" Janet still oblivious too everything that was going on. The whole room gasped in shock. They all thought Rachel was happily in love with Sean, she had just proved them all wrong.

"I'm sorry, I can't!" Rachel said and ran as fast as her leg's could run back up the isle. Closely followed by Janet and Gill. Rachel made her way out of the church and sighed a sigh of relief. "I need too see Kevin, where is he?" Rachel said to Janet who was still awaiting on an explination but by this time she had put two and two together and worked it out for herself.

"He's over there, will I go get him? Oh and I want an explaination for this!" Janet said too Rachel. Rachel smiled and nodded. The first time Janet had seen her smile in weeks.

"I can't thank you enough!" Rachel said throwing her arms around Kevin "You have just stopped me making the biggest mistake off my life! Thank you!"

"I only did what was necessary, I couldn't let you go through with it.. So what now? What you doing tonight?" Kevin said smiling as big as his cheeks would allow.

"Nothing. Tonight's plans are well, non exsistant anymore!"

"Dinner for two?"

"I'd love that!" Rachel said smiling, this is what she wanted. She knew this was right.

* * *

"Do you remember when you saved my life?" Rachel said too Kebin smiling as wide as her cheeks would allow.

"I do and I'll do it again with great pleasure if I ever had too, I would never let any harm come too you Rach!" Kevin said putting his hands on top of Rachel's over the table.

"You know your the sweetest guy I've ever met and thats why I like you so much, you were willing too pick me over your sergeants exam, that meant so much to me for you too even consider it! I would have done the same for you, I just didn't want to show you how I really felt!"

"Why not? We could have done this along time ago Rachel!" Kevin said starring into Rachel's eyes.

"I...I...I don't know! I guess I was just scared of how things would have been to be honest!" Rachel continued "Do you want to go back too mines for a drink? I don't want to be alone after the day I've had!"

"Sure thing, but a drink is all it will be, I don't want to take any sort of advantage of you in anyway!" Kevin said deadly serious. Rachel had never seen this side of him before, she really only had seen the really immuture side of kevin, she had never witnessed his other side; his caring, sensitive and loving side before, it made her fall for him more than she already had.

"No, don't be silly. Come on, let's go!" Rachel got up as Kevin held out his arm, signially for her too link arms with him. Like a real gentleman. Leaving Rachel speechless. Rachel linked arms as they walked out of the restaurant. Kevin held the car door open for Rachel making her feel like a princess. He closed the door behind her and jumped into the drivers seat.

He drove them back to Rachel's but little did Rachel forget, Sean had a key too her flat and he was there, awaiting on her return. He was waiting for her too arrive back to the place they had called 'home' together for the last six months.

As they pulled into the little car park outside Rachel's flat, Kevin said "Isn't that Sean McCartney's car?" Rachel took a deep breath and asked Kevin too wait outside until she had managed to get rid of him. "Give me a call if it all get's out of hand!" Rachel nodded and got out the car. She took a deep breath again as she approached her front door knowing what awaited behind. She could feel Kevin's eye's on her the whole way from the car too her front door, she felt nervous.

"Rachel!" Sean said.

"What are you doing here? Get out please. I'm sorry. Just leave please!" Rachel said beginning to get emotional.

"I want to talk please! An explination is the least you owe me after humilaiting me infront of your friends, colleagues, my friends, family and my colleagues, thanks Rachel!"

"I've got nothing too say Sean!" Rachel said bringing wine out of the fridge.

"I'm going no where until you talk!" Sean demanded.

"If you don't leave i'll phone Gill and have you personally escorted out of my house, your choice you have ten seconds to make up your mind and make it wisely." Rachel said starring at him, no expression on her face, watching his every movement. "Oh and remeber and leave your keys, please!"

Sean was holding back the tears as he nodded and put the keys down on Rachel's table as he turned to walk out he said "No one will ever love you like i did. You've made a big mistake Rachel!" Rachel felt her stomach turn, she was even more confused than she was too start with. Rachel heard her front door shut as she creeped over too the window she seen him drive away, she texted Kevin too come in, as she pulled a beer out of the fridge for him.

They both had an 8am start the next morning and as it was 11pm they had to head off to bed soon. Kevin insisted on sleeping in Rachel's spare room. Rachel was having none of it. She leaned into kiss him, he began kissing her back but then he was the first too pull away. "Are you sure you want to be doing this Rachel?" Kevin asked.

"Yes, I do!" Rachel began kissing him again.

Kevin once again was the first too pull away, he was shocked as he never pulled away. He had far too much respect for her too push it any further that night. "Come on let's get you too bed!" Kevin said refusing too have sex with her as much as he wanted to be so close to her that night he wanted to make sure this is what she really wanted when she was sober. He was refusing to do anything without her full consent. A true gentleman.

As he tucked her into bed, he kissed her forehead and said "good night beautiful!" he left her bedroom and slept in the spare room that night.

The next day at work after being away delievering a death message with Janet, she found a post-it note on her desk. "Drink tonight? Really enjoyed spending time with you! X" She turned around to find him being very entertained by a paper clip! She giggled. "Oi, 8pm pub?" Kevin smiled.

That night they went back too Rachel's and this time Rachel was sober and this time there was no stopping the pair of them now.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

THREE MONTHS LATER

"Janet stop the car I'm going to be sick, please!" Rachel said. Janet pulled over and Rachel jumped out. They were on their way to deliever a death message. Rachel was soon bringing up her stomach lining as once again she had failed too eat since 3pm the day before!

"Late night Rachel?" Janet said softly as she placed her hand on Rachels back. "You've lost all your colour, come on let's go get you something with extra sugar in it!" Rachel just followed Janet, not saying nothing. Rachel was so confused at why she was feeling like this she was never ever sick.

They phoned Gill once they had reached a local cafe and explained what had happnened. Rachel began too feel much better as the day went on. She decided she needed a drink after the day she'd had!

Janet and Rachel headed to the pub across from the police station to discuss that days antics. Rachel had atleast two bottles of wine before heading home to her empty flat. As soon as she walked in the door she phoned Kevin. She didn't particulary like staying in her house by herself. Kevin was at Rachels within ten minutes. They had been going out for just over three months and Rachel couldn't be any happier.

The next day was a repeat of the day before. Rachel was sick all that morning but began feeling better by lunch time. Rachel put her hand on her stomach. "I can't be, there's no way I could be!" She thought too herself. She decided not to go for a test that day. She was waiting to see if the same thing would happen again the next day. She didn't tell anyone, not even Janet about her thoughts and suspicions.

The next day the same thing happened. She was sick all morning and feeling fine and dandy by lunch time! She decided to text Janet. "Come to the toilet please, I need too talk! X"

Within seconds Janet appeared standing infront of her. "Hi pal!" Janet said as soft as she possibly could.

Rachel began to cry. Janet didn't have a clue what was wrong with her all these thoughts started flying around Janet's head! "Has Kevin done something too upset her? Had Gill shouted at her?" Not for one minute did Janet think her best friend could possibly be pregnant!

"I.. I.. I think I'm pregnant! I don't know what to do Janet!" Rachel said through her tears holding her stomach. Janet looked in shock. "Have you had a test yet?" Janet asked Rachel, not knowing what eles to say.

"No!" Rachel said wiping her tears from her eyes. "I'm too scared to! I don't know what to do! I can't do this!" Rachel said beginning too shake.

Janet gave her a cuddle and held her tight. "We'll get through this. Let's find out for definate before we start to consider your options!" Janet said "You head to the car and I'll tell Gill were away for lunch!" Rachel nodded and followed Janet still sniffing. Rachel always knew she could count on her best friend.

"Gill, me and rachel are popping out for a spot of lunch, do you want anything brought back from anywhere?" Janet asked her boss.

"Yeah, I'll have a cake and coffee please?" Gill asked "Oh and is Rachel okay? She doesn't see, to be her normal self!" Gill said looking slightly concerned.

"Yeah, She's fine!" Janet said and smiled as she walked out off Gill's office. She thought it was best if Rachel told her boss herself when she found out for definate.

Rachel and Janet headed to the little pharmacy along the road and Janet went in and bought Rachel a pregnancy test. Rachel was in too much of a state to go anywhere at the minute.

Rachel looked at her phone and saw a text from Kevin. "Are you okay? X" She smiled at the fact he actually cared. She just replied "Yes, thank you!" She didn't know how he would react if she toild him the truth. She wanted too find out for certain first.

Janet returned to the a#car and handed Rachel the packet and asked if she wanted to head back to Janet's to take the test. Rachel just smiled and nodded.

"Thank you, Janet. How much do I owe you?" Rachel asked.

"Nothing, don't be daft!"

"I can't thank you enough Jan. I'd be lost without you!" Rachel said.

Janet put her hand on Rachels knee and squeezed a little. "I'd be bored out my tree without you too look forward to everyday, kid!" Janet said forcing Rachel too smile.

Once they reached Janet's, Janet headed into the kitchen too get Rachel a glass of water. Rachel headed up to the toiet. Janet waited on her coming down the stairs too tell her weither so was pregnant or not.

Janet sat down at the table in her kitchen. She then heard Rachel walking down the stairs. Rachel joined Janet. She put the pregnancy test down in the middle of the table between them and they both sat and waited.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N - sorry it's so short. I'll make the next chapeter longer, promise :') review pleaseeee!**

They sat and waited for what felt like hours. Even though, it was only 3 minutes Rachel saw her whole future flash infront of her. It all relied on the result of this test. Rachel looked at the test. Janet looked at the test. At the same time they looked at each other. Not having a clue what facial expression to use. Janet waited too see what Rachel's facial expression would change too before she done or said anything.

Rachel's mouth fell open as she rubbed her hand over her stomach. She didn't know what to say to Janet. She didn't know what to say to Kevin. She certainly didn't know what to say to Gill. "What am I going to tell Kevin? He'll leave me!" Rachel said, Janet could hear the panic in her voice. "He won't leave you! He'll stand by you. I know Kevin. He really loves you Rach!" Janet said attempting to comfort her. "Mummy Rachel! Well I never thought I'd see the day!" Janet continued trying to make Rachel laugh! Rachel let out a little giggle, but still no real feeling showed.

"We better head back to work, they'll all be wondering where we've got to!" Rachel said, avoiding any possible questions, Janet may throw at her.

"You need too tell Kevin!" Janet told Rachel. "He needs to know!"

"I will!" Rachel snapped back.

"When?" Janet quizzed "He needs too know as soon as possible, before you make any decisions!"

"I will tell him.. Tonight!" Rachel said fighting back the tears as she got up and left.

And with that Rachel and Janet headed back to the office. As they walked in Kevin was sat there looking at a piece of paper trying too figure out which was the right side up. Rachel just laughed. As soon as he saw her, he changed from being a muppet too a caring boyfriend quicker than you could blink. "Where did you go? Are you okay?" Kevin asked Rachel, sounding concerened. Rachel didn't think this was an appropriate time to tell him anything therefore she lied.

"Yeah, Yeah, I'm fine!" Rachel said fobbing him off. "Mine's tonight? We need too talk"

"Yeah, sure. Is everything okay?" Kevin asked Rachel, even more concerned than he was ten minutes ago.

"Yes, everything is fine, now i'll see you later! I've got an interview to do." Rachel said smiling as she walked away. With Rachel out of the office, this was Kevin's perfect oppertunity too ask Janet what was wrong with Rachel.

"Oi, Jan!" Kevin shouted across the office.

"What? Janet replied as Kevin walked over to her and sat in Rachel's chair directly across from Janet, he leaned in to quiz her about Rachel so no other detective's in the office over heard their conversation.

"What's wrong with Rachel? And don't tell me you don't know 'cause use are best friends and tell eachother everything." Kevin said, knowing Janet would have just fobbed him off with "i don't know!" Kevin wanted a proper answer.

"It's not my place to say, just look after her, yeah? She loves you." Janet said as she got up and walked away, leaving Kevin's brain too actually think. All these thoughts started racing through his head. One after the other. He then text Rachel saying "you know I love you. X" the first time he had actually said it to her. Rachel knew Kevin loved her, but he had never ever had the courage too say it to her, even if it was just over a text, it was still a big step, he sat looking at his phone awaiting a reply, even though he knew he wouldnt get one for hours because she was interviewing. So he began watching the clock. Time ticking by so slowly.

Hours passed which felt like days. Soon they were all sitting in the breifing room. Kevin sat directly across from Rachel, he could see something was wrong by how quiet she was being. Her face showed no expression. Her hands crossed on the table. Rachel looked at him and smiled weakly and changed her face back to one with no expression; not one single feeling showing, she hadn't actually had time to look at her phone. As soon as Gill said "Go home, get some sleep, be back in here at 7." Rachel jumped up and basically ran out the door. She checked her phone and the biggest smile ran across her face as soon as she read the text. "I love you too. X" she replied.

As Rachel walked out the office Gill shouted her back. "Rachel, I want a word!" Rachel rolled her eyes and made her way back into the breifing room.

"Yes boss?" Rachel asked, gulping.

"Well done on that interview kid!" Gill said too Rachel, Rachel stood once again emotionless. She didn't know how too react, Godzilla never ever said 'well done' too her. "Oh and by the way, are you okay?" Gill finished.

"Thank you. Yes, I'm fine. Just had a long, stressful day." Rachel lied. Gill put her hand on Rachel's shoulder, not showing much effection. Rachel smiled.

"Go home and get some sleep." Gill ordered.

"Are you going to get any?" Rachel asked sounding concerned. She knew Gill hardly ever got any sleep.

"Would be nice, wouldn't it?" Gill replied. "Night kid".

"Night." Rachel replied turning to walk out the office!

"Oh and Rachel, I'm hear anytime you need to speak to someone!" Gill said.

"Thanks boss." Rachel replied shocked. Gill actually cared.

Rachel headed home. Still in shock from todays antics. When she got home she poured herself a glass of wine, she went to take a sip and put it back down, pouring it down the sing. Refusing to drink it, she headed over and put the kettle on, awaiting Kevin's arrivial. Soon there was a knock at the door. She raced to answer it and Kevin stood infront of her. As he walked in, he gave her a massive cuddle.

"What's wrong with you? Janet wouldn't tell me!" Rachel smiled, she knew she could trust Janet not too say a word. "Sit down." Rachel said to Kevin, she began too feel herself shake.

"You know how you said you 'love' me?" Rachel said, emphasing the 'love'.

"I love you Rachel, more than anything, now tell me what's wrong!" Kevin said, more of an order by the tone in his voice.

"I-I-I'm... Pregnant!" Rachel blurted out, shaking. Unsure of how Kevin would take the news.


	7. Chapter 7

Kevin looked at Rachel. Confused was an understatement. He had that same confused look he had when Gill asked him where to get doggy DNA. Rachel showed no emotion. She thought if she was to show she was happy about it, he would pretend to be happy and if she showed she wasn't sure, he would do the same. She wanted to see his REAL reaction. Rachel looked him in the eyes. He looked away. No words were spoken. Silence. No emotion was shown. Rachel didn't know wither to speak. Kevin didn't know what to do. Rachel eventually broke the silence by saying one simple word "Kevin?". She said no more. He said nothing. She sat watching him as he stood up and walked out.

She couldn't believe what she was witnessing. Rachel thought Kevin of all people would stand by her. She text Janet "I need to speak to you. X" and within five seconds of pushing the 'send' button, Rachel's phone began to ring. 99% of her prayed and hoped it was Kevin but that 1% knew it was Janet. As she picked up the phone, she just about managed to hold everything together, until Janet said "are you okay?" once Janet had said those words, she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. Rachel broke down in tears. She couldn't speak any sense. She was heartbroken. Janet never questioned her, she could hear how upset her bestfriend was. Janet just simply said "i'll be there in five minutes!" She was right. Janet got straight in her car and sped the whole way to Rachel's.

As soon as Rachel opened her front door, Janet threw her arms around her. Janet didn't know what was wrong but she assumed it was Kevin related. Janet didn't question Rachel because she knew in time Rachel would tell her everything. Janet strolled into Rachel's flat like it was her own home. She headed over to the kettle and flicked the switch. Rachel sat on her sofa and for the time being all she said was "thank you!". Once Janet had made Rachel and herself a coffee, she walked over to the couch Rachel was sitting on. Rachel was miles away, lost in her own thoughts. "Rachel?" Janet said putting her hand on Rachel's shoulder "there's your coffee, kid!" Rachel smiled and accepted the coffee. No one spoke. Janet didn't know what to say. Rachel kept getting lost in her thoughts. The sat in silence for what felt like a lifetime to Janet but in reality it was almost about five minutes. Janet decided to brake the silence. "You going to tell me what's wrong or are you going to make me word outside the office?" Rachel laughed nervously and cracked the smallest smile possible. "Well?" Janet contiuned...

"He's left me-" Rachel said but Janet cut her off just as she was about to explain "HE'S WHAT?" Janet said almost shouting. Rachel could see and hear the anger building up inside her bestfriend. "I told him about the baby, he sat in silence, I said his name bevause I wanted to hear what he thought and he got up and simply walked out on me! I honestly thought he would stand by me.. What am I going to do Janet?" Rachel said starting to cry and panic. "We'll sort this out. I'll be hear for you no matter what and Kevin; he'll come round. You want to stay at mines tonight?" Janet asked. Rachel nodded "are you sure?". Janet nodded. "Do you even have to ask that? The girls will be delighted!" They both started to giggle.

That night when Janet checked on Rachel too make sure she was okay, sleeping peacefully. She went down stairs and phoned Kevin to find out what he was playing at. Kevin answered the phone "hello?" Janet was absolutly fuming by this point! "Kevin! What do you think your playing at walking out on Rachel like that?" Janet said, attempting not to scream down the phone at him. "I'll sort it!" Kevin said nervously. "You better!" Janet said hanging up the phone. She headed over to the fridge and poured herself a glass of wine before heading to bed. Suddenly, her phone began to ring. It was Gill. Janet wondered what Gill could possibly want at 11 o'clock at night.

"Hi Gill, You alright?" Janet asked slightly concerned about her friend. "Yeah, I'm fine." Gill replied. "It's about Rachel!" Gill continued, Janet stayed slient. "She doesn't seem to be her normal self. What's wrong with her?" Janet sighed a sigh of relief. She wondered what the hell Rachel had got herself into at work this time. "I don't know!" Janet lied. She didn't think it was her place to tell Gill anything. "I thought you might have said that!" Gill replied, knowing Janet too well. "I'll see you tomorrow Gill!" Janet cut her off.

The next morning when Rachel woke up, she went downstairs and was welcomed with a coffee made by Taisie. Thoughts started flying round her head of how awkward the day that lay ahead was going to be. She didn't know what she was going to do about the baby. She didn't know what she was going to do about Kevin. She certainly didn't know what to do about Gill. It wasn't even 7am yet and her head was already pickled. Janet asked her if she was okay, knowing the answer. Rachel just nodded her head. She really couldn't be bothered with conversations just yet. As they made their way to the office Rachel was absolutely dreading it. As the approached the main entrance, Rachel turned into a shaking mess. "I can't do this Janet. I can't face him!" She said. Janet gave her a cuddle and reasurred her. Rachel had to face Kevin at somepoint. As they walked into the office, Kevin was sitting there. They could both see he wasn't his usual self either. He wasn't doing anything stupid or silly. He wasn't actually doing anything except starring into a black screen.

The minute Kevin noticed Rachel and Janet walk in, he perked up. He watched every move Rachel made as she made her way to her desk. He could feel the stares, he was getting from Janet. The next minute before Rachel even managed to get her coat off, Gill shouted her into her office. Rachel looked at Janet and then to Kevin but failing to make eye contact with him. As soon as Rachel got up out her seat and made her way to Gill's office, Janet stood up and walked over to Kevin. "I thought you said you were getting this sorted Kevin?" Janet said trying to whisper but failing terribly. "I am, just watch!" Kevin reasurred her.

Meanwhile, in Gill's office. Rachel couldn't be bothered arguing or standing up to Gill, so she sat there in silence. Waiting for Gill to get the shouting over and done with. What Rachel didn't realise was her boss was genuinely concerned for her welfare. "You going to tell me what's wrong?" Gill asked, giving Rachel that 'tell me now' sort of look. "Nothing's wrong, honestly!" Rachel said, lying through her teeth but after all the many years Gill had been doing this job she knew when someone was lying. "There is something wrong. Stop lying to me Rachel. I'm responsible for your welfare and I take that very seriously." Gill said. "There's nothing wrong. Can I get back to work please?" Rachel asked her boss. Gill nodded. "Just let me know when your ready to talk, eh Sherlock?" Rachel smiled and walked out.

As Rachel sat down at her desk, Janet turned and looked at Kevin. Kevin looked at Janet and smiled. Kevin got up and walked over to Rachel. "Look, let me explain, please?" Rachel sat in silence, awaiting an explination. "I'm so sorry, I walked out last night. I did come back but when I did you were gone-" Kevin said. "I went to Janets!" Rachel replied, jumping in. "I went to go get you this" Kevin said pulling a box out from his pocket. "What?" Rachel said, not bothered about anything Kevin had to say right now until she seen the box. Rachel sat up in her chair and watched as Kevin got down on one knee. The whole room full of detecives stopped what they were doing and turned and looked at Kevin, watching every move he made. "We'll get through this together Rachel. I'll be with you every step of the way, I promise. Will you do the honour of being my wife?" Kevin asked with a huge smile across his face as he opened the box. Showing a diamond ring. The one Rachel had been admirring a few weeks back.

The whole room sat in absolute silence as Rachel looked from Kevin to Janet to Gill and back to Kevin. "Yes, I will marry you!" Rachel said as happy as she could be!


End file.
